


Pink Carnation (I'll never forget you)

by starkmaximoffs



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Flowers, Fluff, Mimo, hanahaki!au, sanayeon, twice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 11:19:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13410138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkmaximoffs/pseuds/starkmaximoffs
Summary: Momo never thought that this one-sided love she had for Mina could cause her more than just pain.How ironic because she was to forget about her feelings for Mina if ever she decided to accept the surgery but the flower she’d been throwing up meant “I’ll never forget you”.





	1. Pink Carnation - 1

Momo never thought that this one-sided love she had for Mina could cause her more than just pain.

 

Mina had been very close and special to her since their sixth grade until now that they had already graduated from univ. The feelings started to bloom like a _flower_ the first time Mina got drunk and Momo had to sober her up and look after her as she slept on the sofa in Momo’s humble condo unit. Because Mina’s eyes and the way they were shut were already sending heart attacks to Momo, her pointed nose that looked like a mouth of a penguin was too adorable to be ignored, her pinkish lips that Momo had always longed for and her moles- Oh, Lord, just how not to fall for this beauty? It was the moment when Momo realized that Mina was not only a best friend to her… that she was already feeling something more than that for Mina.

 

It wasn’t easy because, heck, Mina could win the Numbest Person of the Century Award. She had tried sending some hints already like taking her out on a candle light dinner, giving her bouquet of _flowers_ once or twice a month, and doing things she didn’t usually do before but Mina NEVER got the message those actions were trying to convey. And them being best friends did not really help. The only good thing about it was that Momo got to talk to her, to make her smile and laugh, to make her feel that she’s not alone and Momo’s _always_ gonna be there for her which were not enough for Momo’s aching and longing heart. At the end of the day, Mina still remained unaware of Momo’s feelings that had been driving the latter crazy. Very crazy.

 

As much as Momo wanted to let her know, she feared losing Mina and the friendship that they had. Even though it really did hurt whenever she saw the younger one with different persons each week, clinging on them with a big smile on her face because Mina didn’t like to be in a serious commitment. She wanted only the fun which scared Momo more. She was willing to endure the painful torture in her chest but not willing to take the risk of confessing.

 

A little stupid, was she not?

 

It was all just that, just pain, just the feeling of the same thousand knives stabbing her heart over and over again leaving so many scars each day but always felt like the first time whenever those knives began to wound her, and Momo herself having to cover the bleeding with a faint or fake smile. It was all just that.

 

Not until Momo felt ill one day. Thinking it was just a normal flu, Momo didn’t really mind it. She took meds and thought everything’s gonna be well again the next day. But when her friends came to visit her (excluding Mina because Momo didn’t let her know) and she laughed hard over Sana’s jokes. So hard that it triggered her lungs and she eventually coughed.

 

Not just coughed.

 

She coughed up… _flowers._

 

Lucky her, her friends Sana and Nayeon were too busy wrestling each other on the other couch just beside the one she’d been lying down on. Having her hand already over her mouth, she clutched the flower tightly inside her hand and excused herself for a while before she went to her room and coughed up more flowers.

 

 

 

**_Flowers Filling the Lungs_ **

**_The disease is called Hanahaki disease which was first encountered in Japan. It is a disease caused by unrequited love._ **

 

**_More about Hanahaki…_ **

 

It was the details Momo was reading on the screen of her laptop. She heaved a deep breath before massaging her temples. She closed her eyes.

 

**_A disease caused by unrequited love._ **

 

 

 

Momo let a week pass by. She decided she’d only go for a check-up and inform her friends, excluding Mina again, if the strange cough continued. And it did. She took Sana and Nayeon with her to the hospital.

 

The doctor explained that she had Hanahaki─the disease wherein flowers take over her lungs and her respiratory system would grow roots that could eventually suffocate her, cause her to choke on her own blood and send her to her deathbed if not cured sooner. The rest of what the doctor told them was the thing she red on the internet, that it was when a person suffered from unrequited or one-sided love.

 

Sana rubbed her shoulders to soothe her as the three of them listened to the doctor. Momo was sitting on the chair in front of the doctor’s table, Nayeon was seated just across her and Sana was standing behind her.

 

 **“There are two ways to recover,”** said the doctor that had given Momo at least a glimpse of hope, **“First, Ms. Hirai can recover without having to spend any penny if the person she loves falls for her, too. The flowers will stop multiplying in you if that happens.”** He explained further. His hands were on his table, palms pressed against each other, **“Second is the surgery. It doesn’t involve any other critical processes but… but after having it done, your feelings for the person you love will be taken out along with the infection.”**

 

They gasped. They had to for they didn’t know what to say and it was the only reaction they could give. All of them were speechless. Silence dominated the whole room for a long while. Everyone’s waiting for Momo to say something and no one dared to talk first before she did.

 

It was so quiet they even heard how Momo swallowed before she parted her lips from each other to speak, **“Once the surgery is taken… will I still be able to develop feelings for the same person after it?”**

 

 **“Well, that’s… uncertain. In some cases, it is possible. In some others, it’s not.”** Then there’s a pause, and Momo had the feeling that the next words the doctor was about to say would be worse, **“But the worst cases are those wherein the patients don’t get to love anyone anymore.”**

 

 **“You mean… they lose the ability to love?”** Nayeon questioned, leaning in out of curiosity and interest.

 

The doctor only nodded.

 

 

Momo was given time to decide and make up her mind if she’d take the surgery or not. The doctor did not force her to make a decision right away, saying he understood it’s hard. When she came home to her condo unit, she locked herself in the comfort room. What’s strange was even though it was the saddest she’d felt in her entire life, she didn’t spill tears out over the issue… _yet_. She just stood there, hands gripping on the sink tightly while she looked back at her own reflection in the mirror. She was too sad to even think of anything or anyone. Even Mina.

 

She then felt the same, familiar bulking feeling in her chest again breaking its way up her throat and… with a cough, lots of _flowers_ were suddenly scattered around the sink. She held one of them in her hand and looked at it carefully.

 

**_Pink carnation._ **

 

How ironic because she was to forget about her feelings for Mina if ever she decided to accept the surgery but the flower she’d been throwing up meant **_“I’ll never forget you”._**


	2. Pink Carnation - 2

It was Friday when Mina asked if they could have a /sudden/ movie marathon at night in her crib. Sana and Nayeon tho, knowing Momo’s condition, suggested to just have it in Momo’s condo unit. Mina didn’t say anything in refusal. Aside from she’s the youngest among them and she’s very obedient, she saw nothing wrong with it.

 

Nayeon and Sana came first together, of course. They’d been spending more time beside Momo more than they’d ever done before. They were debating over something Momo could barely hear─for she was lying down again on the couch, feeling very weak─when they heard the ‘ding’ sound coming from the door. Mina had arrived. And of course she knew the passcode of Momo’s unit.

 

It was like an alarm clock to Momo that she immediately opened her eyes after hearing it and got up with Sana’s help to sit properly.

 

**“Are you sure it’s okay that we continue the mov-“**

 

 **“I’m fine, Sana,”** a cough, a dry one, and she looked a little pale, **“Just… give me some of those tablets so I can feel a little better.”**

 

Sana followed right away.

 

Momo just couldn’t let any chance to be with Mina to pass by her just like that. No matter how critical her situation could be, she’d grab that chance. Momo decided not to accept the surgery. Nayeon and Sana were frantic, and until now they still weren’t happy about Momo’s decision. Who would be?

 

But in Momo’s defense…

 

**_“At least I’ll die still able to feel for someone. I’d rather have that as my fate than live my life in vain.”_ **

 

Nayeon was the one who fetched Mina from the doorway and hugged her as soon as they saw each other.

 

 **“Come on in.”** urged Nayeon. She pulled Mina in gently by the wrist with a smile on her face, wide enough to show her two adorable front teeth.  She earned an eyesmile from the younger girl.

 

By the time they got there Momo just finished taking the meds, she was holding a glass. When she turned to look at Mina there was no hint of her feeling unwell. Mina smiled at her and she answered with a nod.

 

 **“Good evening, Sana.”** Said Mina politely.

 

The three didn’t let Mina call them “unnie”, saying they’re only months older that the penguin and it wasn’t really necessary.

 

 **“Hi, Mina.”** That was the only thing Sana replied her with before she took the glass back in the kitchen.

 

The other three talked about what series they’d be watching this time.

 

 **“I brought Dan Brown’s trilogy,”** Mina let them know. She unzipped her backpack and pulled out three dvds from it.

 

 **“Ooh.. The Da Vinci Code. I love that.”** Momo said, agreeing on Mina’s idea the same time Sana had gone back from the kitchen. She looked up to Sana and Nayeon who were standing in front of them, asking for their opinion.

 

Nayeon nodded, **“Yeah.  I’m fine with that. I’ve missed watching movies of such genre already, anyway.”**

 

 **“She’s right. We’ve been into romance-comedy lately.”** Sana added.

 

They earned a questioning ft. teasing look from Mina and Momo.

 

 **“You two have been watching romance movies… _together_?” ** Mina asked, clarifying the information she had just heard. It was a question that didn’t really need an answer, a question asked only to make a point. Mina even had a brow raised, still grinning. She’d always seen the two as a couple and always paired them up together secretly.

 

**“Romance- _comedy_ , just to correct you… it’s…”**

 

**“Yes. It’s not just romance alone.”**

 

 **“Still. A romance.”** Momo helped in teasing. And the two just couldn’t seem to find a way out, as if they were bound onto a hot seat.

 

To poke the topic off as if it was a bubble, Nayeon just grabbed the CDs from Mina. She let out an awkward chuckle. Momo and Mina just shot each other a _there’s-definitely-something-up_ look and laughed.

 

It was perhaps the 33rd time Momo had watched the movie but it didn’t matter even though she’s already getting sick and tired of seeing Robert Langdon’s face and how his brows always furrowed towards each other because, hey, Mina was holding her hand underneath the pororo blanket that they shared.

 

It was warm against her skin, Mina’s hand. What made it even warmer and fluttering was the way Mina would squeeze her hand from time to time and give her tender rubs on her palm. She did it very gently and serenely. She had always been like that─sweet, clingy, good in making one feel special. That’s why Momo thought even if God didn’t bless Mina with too much beauty, she’d still fall in love with her just as deep.

 

Momo tore off her look from the screen onto Mina. She stared at the younger one. And there was nothing else that she would be interested in as much as she was so interested in staring at Mina’s face. Her eyes were screaming for affection, for Mina to feel the same way or at least like her back. But she sighed knowing it would be hard and it’s easier to just accept the fact that she would die being just a best friend to the person she loved the most.

 

 **“Ah really this scene’s my most favourite.”** Mina commented, obviously very focused on the movie.

 

Momo then stopped staring at the girl and just paid attention on the movie, too.it was the part where the theory of Jesus and Mary Magdalene having an affair was being explained. She couldn’t deny it was also her favourite part.

 

 **“Yes,”** Sana agreed, chewing the popcorn in her mouth into tiny bits, **“I can’t even solve a simple Math problem. Dan Brown is so amazing. What is his brain made of…”** And she sounded sincerely astonished, as if she was talking about her father’s unbelievable success.

 

 **“You can’t solve Math problems because your brain’s made up of spider webs and dust.”** Nayeon said and her peripheral vision did not miss it when Sana squinted at her even though the lights were off.

 

Mina and Momo’s laughters were heard after. Nayeon couldn’t help but chuckle, too, at how adorable Sana was and the death glare she currently had on the oldest.

 

They were covered with silence again as they all were caught interested by the movie. Several “ooh” “waah” and other reactions would be heard mostly from Sana and Nayeon. And Momo was lowkey confused because it’s not as if it was the first time of the two seeing this film???

 

Momo jolted when she felt the familiar feeling of the soft thing blooming in her. _Her flowers were awake again_ and ready to rise up to her throat to get out through her mouth.

 

Even though the idea itself of having to let Mina’s hand go from hers made her heart drop, she had to and she did, **“Excuse me,”** she said, stood up and barged into the comfort room before she had to let the flowers out and see them tossed all over her lap.

 

Nayeon glanced at Sana only to see the younger glancing back at her already. They knew what that look meant while Mina was clueless, her eyes just followed Momo’s running figure and eventually allowed herself to be drowned in watching the movie again.

 

A hiss escaped through Momo’s gritted teeth as she looked down on the scattered flowers in the sink. Some of the petals were even parted from one another.

 

 **“Babies…”** she picked one of them, one of the pink carnations all over the sink, and brought it close up to her face, **“Please grant me a little more time to spend with the dearest person to my heart. And you all can take over me- my lungs, especially.”** She chuckled out of pain and realizing just how silly her words were, and how silly she was talking to that thing that didn’t have a life but had the power to take hers.

 

When Momo came back, Mina told them she had to use the comfort room, too. She quietly made her way to the CR, leaving the other three alone by themselves. Nayeon grabbed the remote control and pressed the pause button and both of them─Sana and her─faced Momo.

 

 **“Did you…”** Sana did not have to complete the question. The look in her eyes was enough for Momo and Nayeon to get what she was trying to say.

 

Momo forced a smile and then she nodded gently as a reply. Sana could only bite her lower lip, not knowing what to say next while Nayeon shut her eyes closed tightly. She knew what to say only she didn’t know if she should say it.

 

But eventually, she did, **“Let _her_ know.”**

 

 **“No, Nayeon. Never.”** Momo immediately said after Nayeon. She matched it with a shake of her head.

 

 **“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”** said Sana.

 

Nayeon furrowed her brows, looking at them with disbelief. **“Why not? It might help!”** she whisper-yelled, careful enough not to let her voice get to be heard by Mina who was still in the CR.

 

 **“Yeah, sure, let her know and then she’d love me only because she would pity me and my suckingass lungs!”** Momo answered in the same voice volume, **“I don’t want that, Nayeon. I don’t wish to be loved that way.”** She sighed,  **"And I don't want to take away her right to love the person whom her heart really wants. As much as I want to live, I don't want to be selfish."**

 

Nayeon opened her mouth, was about to say something again but Sana did not allow her to continue, **“The surgery, Momo. Please think about it again…”** Sana convinced her best friend.

 

**“No. I told you already. I am not undergoing that surgery, either.”**

 

Sana and Nayeon’s jaws dropped in incredulousness. They’re both speechless. Fuck.

 

 **“So basically you’re not doing a single shit to save yourself?!”** Sana was already furious… a bit.

 

Momo just shrugged and got her eyes away from her friends, not wanting to answer any of their questions again. Fortunately, Mina already set herself free from the walls of the goddamn CR and it officially ended **THE** discussion for tonight.

 

 **“Wow. You guys didn’t really have to pause the movie for me.”** Mina told them. She completely thought the pause button was pressed because she had to go to the CR.

 

 

The girls decided to sleep when they were halfway through the last CD─The Inferno. Sana and Nayeon volunteered to clean everything up while Momo went straight to her bedroom to change in to her pyjamas. She was about to button it up when she suddenly noticed how skinnier she had already gotten. She traced her already lumping ribcage with her forefinger and her heart ached when she effortlessly got to feel her bones. She gasped in some air before buttoning up.

 

There’s a knock on the room’s door just exactly when she was done changing. Momo got up, fixed the blouse first before opening the door. Behind the knock, a smiling Mina was revealed. The girl was carrying a pillow and a blanket with her.

 

 **“Mina…”** Momo greeted, **“Are you sleeping in here? I mean, usually it’s Sana who shares room with me…”**

 

Mina stepped her feet into the room and walked straight towards the bed. Momo closed the door quietly, following Mina after.

 

**“I told them to sleep together this time. You know… pushing those two together doesn’t sound bad, right?”**

 

Momo chuckled, **“They might sleep together in an _other_ way, tho,” **Mina got the idea of what she said, especially because she emphasized the word OTHER, and it made Momo earn a pillow thrown right on her face.

 

 **“Green alert.”** said Mina and she laughed while she rolled her eyes jokingly.

 

Momo got herself up on the bed, too, and sat beside Mina. They were quiet for a while until Mina’s voice was heard again.

 

**“Saw flowers in your trash bin in the comfort room.”**

 

Momo’s heart beat hitched upon hearing it and then it began to throb faster than it ever did. She could feel Mina’s eyes on her but she couldn’t move her own to look back at the younger one. She didn’t know how to reply. Her lips seemed to be superglued against each other.

 

Mina tilted her head, trying to catch Momo’s eyes, **“Aw… is our Momo finally into someone?”** she asked happily.

 

 **“What…?”** Momo gave Mina a quick gaze and looked down again right after. Dafuq was Mina talking about, she thought.

 

**“Did you want to give them to someone? Just afraid they’d reject you?”**

 

By this time, Momo wanted to grab Mina by the collar and spit out right on her face the words she had been bottling up and wanting to say, that she loved her and she should stop being so numb and ignorant and oblivious about it. That she was having a hard time right now and she needed Mina to at least feel a little more for her. But she wouldn’t do it for real, of course. Aside from it’d be very pathetic, she just knew she could never yell at Mina.

 

 **“Yes I do have my eyes on someone right now. I have been into her for a long time already,”** she finally looked back at Mina, right in the eyes. She had finally confessed… well, indirectly, **“But no. I did not intend to give those flowers to her. _Those flowers… they’re something more. She was the one that gave them to me, and she will give me more each day._ ”**

 

**“She likes you back, then?”**

 

Momo did not answer. Just kept on having this intense staring contest with Mina. There’s something different in the way they were looking at each other, it’s as if they’re trying to read each other’s minds through the locked doors of their eyes, giving their best to unlock them.

 

Momo felt her heart thumping its way out of her chest and she just couldn’t seem to cut the eye contact off first because there’s this something in her that had been longing to have this kind of moment with Mina. And because Mina’s eyes were as deep as an ocean, still not completely explored that’d have you curious and trying to dig deeper into it. An ocean that once you got in, it’s not easy to find a way out.

 

* * *

 

Momo was tying her shoelace when her phone vibrated in her pocket. She quickly finished on her shoes and answered the call.

 

It was Sana.

 

**“Yeah?”**

 

 ** _[ Just wondering if you have time? Let’s go out and have some fun. ]_** Momo smiled upon hearing her friend’s excited voice. But even though she did not want to frustrate the younger girl, she had to.

 

She already had plans set for today. And for the rest of the remaining days she had left.

 

 **“Sorry, Sana. I’m going out with Mina today.”** Momo answered and her voice was soft.

 

Sana hummed on the other line, **_[ Take care. Call me or Nayeon if you need help or anything. ]_** And even though it was only a call, Momo could tell Sana was sincerely, truly concerned about her.

 

 **“I will,”** Momo smiled, **“Thank you.”**

 

**_[ No biggie. ]_ **

 

They both chuckled before Momo hung up. She got up to get her car keys upon the center table she’d got in her living room.

 

 

 **“How much time do I still have before I get too critical?”** Not wanting to beat around the bush, Momo asked the doctor straightforwardly.

 

It was in her plans, to go to the doctor first before picking Mina up from her apartment. She wanted to know but she couldn’t stop her heart from throbbing so fast, ready to drop off of her chest once the doctor answered.

 

The doctor took in some air first, **“Are you sure you wanna know?”** Momo nodded, **“Five? Six months?”**

 

**“But I have been taking the meds regularly…”**

 

**“I know. That’s the most those meds can do for you.”**

 

There were no words that dared to escape from Momo’s mouth. Five to six months… she only now had five to six months to spend with Mina and her two best friends, with her family who still hadn’t known about her situation. Would that be enough?

 

Momo nodded again.  **“Thank you.”** And got up to exit the clinic, shoulders slightly slacking off and her eyes were down.

 

But her doctor said, **“I really suggest you consider taking the surgery.”**

 

 **“No.”** Momo said. No hesitations, no stuttering.

 

**_No._ **

 

One word yet contained a lot. One word which, if Momo stood for, could change a lot of lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am very deeply sorry if i don't meet your expectations :( im new to writing about something this complex i cri omg.
> 
>  
> 
> thank you for reading and i hope you all keep up and survive through the boringness this fic could bring until the lastest chapter of this shit.
> 
>  
> 
> yours truly,
> 
> a flop
> 
> jk
> 
>  
> 
> yours truly,
> 
> starkmaximof


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

 

 

**Hanahaki (n.)**

**A disease caused by unrequited love.**

 

* * *

 


End file.
